Corporate Lingo

Lots of people are looking for better jobs - that's the norm of modern day corporate environments. So if you're trying to move up in the world or just get out of the same ol' boring job there are dangers you should be aware off while browsing the openings on Monster, Craigslist or whatever on-line job outlet you peruse.

To help you sort out the chiff from the chaff I present to you the definitive Guide for Catchy Corporate Phrases and their true meaning:

Competitive salary
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join our fast-paced company
We have no time to train you

Casual work atmosphere
We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up.

Must be deadline oriented
You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Duties will vary
Anyone in the office can boss you around

Must have an eye for detail
We have no quality control

Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
You will need to replace three people we just fired

Problem-solving skills a must
You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos

Requires team leadership skills
You will have the responsibility of the manager, without the pay or respect

Now there are a few things the employee prospect should be also aware off and as well be extra careful to note as-is on his or her résumé, or even mention on the all-important face to face interview. I recommend you to avoid the following as they could be taken entirely out of context:

I take pride in my work
I blame others for my mistakes

I am adaptable
I've changed jobs a lot

I am highly motivated to succeed
The minute I find a better job, I am outta here.


-=[ R ]=-
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